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Trusting in Yourself

 

   
 
If decisions had a weighting scale, they would be as heavy as one’s age. The decisions I made when I was 8 years old would have been as heavy as 8kg and the decisions I make now would be 23kg, which is three times as heavy and three times more important. As you age, the decisions, small or big, become more and more life-deciding because you carry heavier responsibilities as you grow older. Last year, when I was 22, I made a decision to join The Dongguk Post. It was a responsibility heavier than 22kg, and more burdensome than I had originally thought, but it was worth the gravity.

I swore to myself that I would never give up, no matter how tough and time-consuming the work would be at the Post. Because this was the decision I made for myself, I did not want to be weak and give in to the obstacles that I would face. There were times when I wanted to throw off the weight on my shoulders and simply lie and convince myself that it was going to be okay to just quit.  Sometimes I shed tears after I received harsh criticisms from my colleagues. This scarred me and I lost my self-esteem. It is when I realized that I was far away from being really good. It was tough and it still is tough, because working in an organization not only requires academic abilities, but also an ability to cope up with the differences in each other’s thoughts.

However, despite these hardships, I believe that it was the best decision I had ever made in my life. Without these struggles, I would not have felt the sense of achievement as great as I feel now. The Dongguk Post taught me to understand the saying ‘no pain, no gain’ and take it to heart. Moreover, it taught me to embrace others with love and understanding. That is probably the biggest gift I received from my time with this organization. The people I met here took me in with both patience and care. No words would be enough to express my gratitude towards them. Sure, I learned a lot technically and academic-wise, but the people I met here are probably the biggest assets in my life. Without them, the weight would have been even heavier, because I would not have known what to do.

I could have simply quit and have been free from this 22kg worth of stress, but I kept going. I held on to this and I can proudly tell myself that it was good to trust in my decisions. For the remaining term here, I will try and gain gifts that are worth more than 22kg of gold.

Lee So-young  soybeans@dongguk.edu

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