"I still don't have a boyfriend, but I’m interested in a boy whom I met a few days ago," says a girl to her friends at a cafe on the first day of April. If she cannot find a boyfriend by Black Day, a special day for people without lovers, she will eat jajangmyeon (black bean noodles) on April 14. This is a gloomy day for those who have not received any chocolates or candies from lovers on Valentine's Day and White Day, both of which are very popular among young Koreans.

Then, she described his personality so vividly, adding that he complimented and touched her. "He often sent me text messages at night, and after I replied, he called to chat with me for a minute. When we met each other, he complimented me on my appearance and delighted me with jokes. But he also did not pay attention to what I said sometimes. Once a day, I saw that he was surrounded by other girls. I was confused whether he liked me or not," she says, holding a cup of iced coffee.

After listening to her troubles, her friend remarks, "He must be a Casanova who just enjoys being with other women even though he doesn't love them." The concerned girl acknowledges what her friend said and asks, "Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Boys just play games with me."

Many students have relationships during their university lives, and they might realize that it is sometimes nearly impossible to have a true friend of the opposite sex. In fact, it often seems like there are only two options: lover or phony friend. Nevertheless, a lot of students start relationships with members of the opposite sex and often play love games with them. Boys caress girls’ hair, and girls smile a lot in front of boys, although they often do not actually seek a genuine relationship with them. These people oftentimes just enjoy the affection they receive.
Why do these situations occur? Why do so many students seem to meet boyfriends or girlfriends just to relieve boredom? It seems as though many people think that the more relationships a person has had, the more desirable he or she becomes. If a woman is popular with many men, people might think she is an attractive and sophisticated woman. Second, it is likely because many people are used to having superficial relationships with others. A lot of people who get into intimate relationships often do so for selfish reasons, hoping to gain something in return, such as popularity, social connections, or material possessions.

These realities are sometimes hard to swallow, but there may be some hope to meeting a sincere boyfriend or girlfriend. "One good turn deserves another." As this proverb says, you can find a remarkable partner if you treat others sincerely. Though it is not always true, couples often share similar values, so you can meet someone who is genuine like you. Why don't you try to escape from Black Day and start preparing for Valentine’s Day or White Day?

Yun Seon-ju  besensible@dongguk.edu

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